Okay so I’ve been quite quiet recently and not really written all that much however inbetween trying to be a super mum whilst Archie was ill, my own health took a huge dip.

I never admitted it to myself but it wasn’t until I admitted to someone I actually felt quite lonely, that I realised. I was on the mental health rollercoaster once again and all of a sudden there’s a dip with a huge hill to climb at the other side.

A lot of people ask why I’m still on such a high dosage of anti-depressants… I look normal to most but depression is a silent killer if it’s not spoken about. Whilst I’ve sat in the doctors waiting room previously, I’ve seen people looking at me like ‘shes wasting the doctors time, there’s nothing wrong with her etc’ when in actual fact there is. Anyone can fake a smile, they can even tell themselves they’re okay and don’t need any help. Mental health is just as important as any other illness, something you can’t buy over the counter drugs for, nor something that will go away with 2 weeks of treatment.

Little do I know what’s caused this huge dip but it happens.. we all reach a low point in our lives. Some more than others. I will never go down the route of taking my own life as I have a tiny human being who depends on me, and I have the support there that I need but some don’t.

A random act of kindness asking if someone is okay, or if they want to go for a coffee can actually mean more than you think to someone. Far too many people live so privately that they forget about those around them.

Until you’ve suffered with depression, you honestly don’t know how tough each day can be. All motivation disappears, sudden behavioural changes happen and then the tiredness.

There’s been nights recently where Archie has been full of beans until late. I’m still not emotionally ready for him to stay out so I’ve thought to myself, I’ve got a spare room… surely there’s someone that can come and stay over for the night and help out. But I probably wouldn’t even sleep if someone was to stay and help out but there’s nothing than I love more than sleepy snuggles in the early hours.

Next time you walk past someone, break a smile. It might be the only smile that they see all day. Or even have a conversation with a stranger, text that distant friend to see if they’re okay. But more importantly ask yourself if you’re okay. There’s help out there! Don’t be afraid to get it, the more we speak about mental health, the easier it’ll be for those who suffer.

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